Anak’s Procedure Day

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 Putting this up here for memories. 


Anak was admitted over the weekend for an elective procedure under GA after being postponed since 2020. Initially I was worried it will be postponed again as she was still recovering from URTI despite being COVID negative. Kept bugging S asking all these questions and she calmly entertained me ðŸ¥°. During GA assessment, the GA MO also reassured me saying she passed her assessment and could proceed with the procedure. Hearing that, I gladly signed all the consents. 


Throughout the admission, anak has been such an angel. While the other kids were crying when the nurse wanted to measure their weight and took their vitals, she went through it like a champ. Even when the doctors examined her. She also sat on her bed patiently when I went to the bathroom or filled up my water bottle. With the help of Paw Patrol, of course. 


When it was time for her to fast, of course she kept asking to nenen ðŸ˜…. Until she was too tired and fell asleep. Moments after that, the nurse told me it was her turn to go to OT. She was cranky for being woken up to change her clothes but soon settled and while waiting at the OT, she fell back to sleep. Didn’t even wake up when the anaes pushed the propofol in. Well, she did fuss a bit but her eyes remained closed lol. 


Also, a happy coincidence that S was working during her procedure day so it felt like I have an insider updating me with her progress which helped to calm me. 


Once she was at the recovery bay and I could be at her side again, she was still sleeping as the sedation was still in effect. You know how people say about people under sedation act? While she was sleeping, I knew she was dreaming about nenen because of her tongue movement lol. When we were in the ward, she was still drowsy and when she did open her eyes she was like nyum2 while pointing to the food on the table and before I could feed her she was out again ðŸ˜†. Kesian ba kelaparan sampai terbawa2 dalam mimpi. 


She was the 4th out of 6 or 7 cases scheduled and she was done and back in the ward by 2-ish. She slept until 5 or 6 pm and when she woke up, she insisted on eating a packet pf biscuits and 2 slices of watermelon. Which she vomited back (twice) just before the nurse came with our discharge notes lol. So we ended up staying another night as the sedation might still be in her system. Hence the vomiting. While the other 2 kids who were in the same room as us (and one was the last case on the list) able to go back on the same day. 


Discharge day was uneventful. Didn’t pay a single cent as I was using bae’s GL. Thank you government. 


All in all, everything went quite smoothly. Special thanks to the main team, Dr Meryam and Ms Aini, and GA team, Dr Gajen, Dr Jasmin, and one other dr that I didn’t catch her name. To the nurses and other hospital staff. And of course, the one person that I have been bugging since way before the anak was scheduled for the procedure, S. 


Oh, before I forget. When the nurse wanted to insert IV line, of course anak cried and  of course I cried too lol. 


Hopefully anak will recover soon. Her body felt quite warm last night but I didn’t have the thermometer with me so not sure if she is feverish or not. Also since we don’t have our nanny anymore and play school won’t accept sick kids and my annual leave is quite limited…so, yeah. Even her runny nose hasn’t completely clear up. 


Till then. 

Target Niche: Mothers

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 To maintain a successful blog, you need to find your niche. So right now I am aiming towards fellow Sabahan mothers who are looking for things to do with their kids, especially in the middle of this pandemic-soon-to-be-endemic. 

For context, I have a 2 years old curious little toddler who is eager to explore the world and life with Covid sucks. I want her to have social life but sending her to play school makes me (but mostly her dad) anxious. To compensate, I try to bring her out as much as possible.

Hopefully I could keep this up lol. So far I’m planning to review The Bee Fun Land in EG Mall, Inanam, the play area at Suria Sabah and ITCC, and later Aquascape and play area at IMAGO. Oh I also planned to bring her to train ride, to the zoo, and maybe museum? But I don’t think she could appreciate the museum bits.

Anyway, if you guys have any suggestions on things to do with the kids, please do leave a comment!

2021 - Recap, Gratitude, Resolution

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I think at this point, why do I even bother keeping this blog up, am I right? I guess deep down I still want to be a writer and this blog is the closest thing I could ever feel about becoming a writer haha. I actually sort of made a resolution of early this year of writing everyday. Did sorta diary/journal on my phone, but only lasted for several days ha. I mean, I couldn’t even keep my main resolution - which was to lose 1kg every month…so…yeah.

What has happened this year that is worth documenting on here…let me see.

1. Quit my previous job as a contract government worker and now I am working with an NGO. I think it’s quite bold of me as I never really one that steer away from my comfort zone. But I’m glad I did it. The money is definitely better when I was still in my previous employment but now that I have a growing kid, work-life balance is definitely something that I appreciate more in my current job, and you could always find more money, right?

2. Actually making money by baking cakes. We sold more than 40 cakes, and we even have our own Instagram page ha. We - as in my brother and I. We were enthusiastic for about, 2-3 months before the sales started to decline and we couldn’t be bothered anymore ha. It is hard work to start a business. The accounting part, the branding and the promoting part etc etc. I even learn a bit about Canva - very, very basic stuff though.

3. Oh I finally joined a dropship selling this one herbal molasses drink called Supercube, and I have been meaning to write a post about it but keeps delaying and forgetting about it. Maybe next year. But in case you are wondering about this drink, just hit me up.

4. Handling a program in my previous clinic. Was honoured with the responsibility as the liaison officer of  COVID-19 in the clinic, and subsequently handling the vaccination centre when it first started. OK, honestly I didn’t do much. I just helped here and there. I was more of a point of reference haha. And I would redirect the question or inquiry to the related personnel. So, really, nothing much. 

To make this post a bit longer, might as well list things that I am thankful of and what I hope I achieved next year.

I am thankful for 

1. My family, first and foremost, especially my wonderful kid. To have someone so special to love and nurture, I am forever grateful. I may not be the best mother, but please know, I tried my very best to be your mother.

2. My friends, old and new. Without them, I would never know joy and this life wouldn’t be the same without them.

3. My job, as I still can earn money to sustain my life and still enjoy my life. Not to mention that I actually have more free time now, and I should really utilising them better.

Which leads me to things that I hope I can achieve next year.

1. Getting more fit. I actually want to lose weight, but I think getting more fit is more important. I want to be able to lift my kid and play with her without losing my breath. And if I do lose weight during the process, that would be even better. I already bought a dumbbell set for that, and all left to do now is to look for a workout routine that I could incorporate in my daily life. I plan to walk on the treadmill on daily basis to hit the recommended 10k steps (which I can never achieve, actually haha). So maybe I could do some weights before the cardio.

2. Read more books. This is self explanatory. Plus, I found ways to get more e-books for free. Hopefully I can read non-fictions. I have plenty in my to read list. Most of them are…I’m not sure what the genre actually is. Self-help maybe?

3. Learn languages. My Duolingo is looking a bit sad. And I saw a TikTok where this person can actually converse for work purpose in French and she has been learning French using Duolingo for 2 years! So on Duolingo I have French, Italian, and Spanish, and I paid some fee to learn Mandarin at my own pace, and I think I should learn some native languages, like my own ethnic haha.

4. To declutter, reorganise, and reduce. I need to learn to not to be too attached to things that don’t matter. Let go of things that I barely use. And to not add more junk! For starters, I am trying to reduce my skincare steps to only the essentials. Which includes cleanse, tone, moisturize, and sun protection. At night (when I didn’t fall asleep), I add on eye cream and occasionally chemical exfoliator and face oil. I actually want to use retinol, but since it is teratogenic, I need to hold it off first. Oh I also switched to soap bars now instead of shower gel. Might even switch to shampoo and conditioner bars too. I rarely buy clothes now too. And I need to visit my wardrobe again because I know there are clothes that I need to get rid of. My postpartum body and breastfeeding boobs just couldn’t fit into it anymore. Maybe one day, if I indeed manage to keep my no 1 resolution, but until then, might as well just get rid of them, right? I also need to declutter and reorganise my digital footsteps. That includes my photo gallery and my mailbox.

5. I want to say to write more, but I’m not sure if I can keep it haha. We’ll just see. Oh I should just say I want to be more creative, because I also want to try painting again. Not that I have actually started, ever. The only painting I have truly ever done was the flower painting class I joined some time ago. 

6. To be more mindful of my finances. Which includes the income and the spending. I wanted to try trading, but I still haven’t get around to learning about it - and honestly I still am clueless on how to open a CDS account haha so maybe we’ll focus on other types of passive income first.

I think I have write enough for now. Hopefully could write again sooner (and not in 1 year time ha).

Until then.

The different kinds of pain you will feel post delivery

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Hi! What I planned to write before I started working again has been delayed until now lol. I’m writing this not to scare anyone who will be pregnant/delivering soon but just for my own reminiscence. So let’s get down to it.

OK so after you safely delivered your baby and also not to forget, your placenta, they will check if your perineum needs any repair. If yes, well there goes your first pain. And if it’s labial tear, good luck to you. As I have mentioned in my previous post, I legit screamed during the first stitch. Luckily I didn’t squish my daughter - who was on top of me for skin-to-skin. 


Next, the most dreaded situation after you given birth is...going to the toilet. I still remember that I wanted to pee few hours after giving birth but I was like nope not going to happen and I tried to squeeze my pee hole (lol) so that I wouldn’t pee but then of course my urine is still inside my bladder and trying to escape and I knew that if I didn’t go to the toilet I would definitely pee on the bed lol. So I slowly went to the toilet - my bed (in the labour room) was super messy and bloody lol - and even after I sat on the toilet bowl I was still dreading to pee then I was like oh to hell with it and peed. And slowly and silently cried in pain haha. I think mine was super bad because I had labial tear. I think the pain persisted for almost a month maybe? But decreasing in intensity so no worries. You will survive. I don’t have any problem in pooping though. But I try to eat more fibre to prevent constipation. 


OK so you would think that once you become a mother, your maternal instinct will kick in and breastfeeding will be a breeze. Nope. I had to ask the nurse to show me how to breastfeed lol. Maybe the latch was improper, so my nipple was sore for few days. To make things worse, you can’t stop nursing from that sore nipple because you need to relieve the engorgement and the only effective way to do that is by breastfeed your baby. So you just bear the pain and wince when your baby is nursing. But no worries. You will survive this too. 


Speaking of engorgement, it can be quite painful. OK honestly I don’t really remember if it is really painful or not haha. But it will be a discomfort. And if you are unlucky, you can even get mastitis. Oh oh even if you having letdown - where your milk starts oozing out from your nipple - can be quite uncomfortable. Tingling sensation. 


While we are on the topic of breastfeeding, did you know that breastfeeding can help in contracting your uterus to the pre-pregnancy state? So you will feel contraction almost every time you breastfeed. It is slightly more painful than (my) period pain but less painful than (my) contraction pain. 


So I think that’s all for now. Is there anyone still reads my blog? What should I write next? How I had postpartum blues during my confinement? Or is it getting boring reading about my pregnancy (and post pregnancy)?


Anyways. Hopefully I can see you guys in next post. Ciao!

The Nitty Gritty of My Birthing Experience

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Hello, I am back again writing this while walking on my treadmill. Oh have I mentioned that I bought new shoes just so I can run? Because I have gained weight (yeap, have not lose my pregnancy weight) and my stamina is really down low (not that it was high to begin with). 

So today I will be writing about my birthing experience. Baby H will be 2 months soon and believe it or not, I am starting to forget how painful the contraction pain is - not really but I survived. Lol. 

Since I have GDM on meds, I have to be induced to prevent further complication. So I roughly know when I was supposed to deliver. Or else, I would have to wait for the signs and symptoms of labour - and honestly, I just couldn’t because I really really need to take a break from work. 

Anyways. I was supposed to be admitted on the 23rd of December and induced on the 24th. If everything went well, I would be expecting Christmas baby lol. But also lowkey was hoping I deliver on 24th, so her birthday will be the same as our anniversary date.  Also hoping that bae would accompany me to the hospital when I was admitted. But nope and nope. Of course nothing went as what I hoped. 

Bae was oncall at the time I was admitted. And worse is that he had to do EOD call. So I was hoping for the next best thing, mom to accompany me. But nope, she went to Indonesia - I think- and her flight home was on 24th, if I remember correctly. Joked around and said probably by the time her flight landed in KK, I already sent her the picture of her granddaughter lol. Luckily big bro was around - and he decided to take the day off since Sabah declared Christmas eve as public holiday. 

Oh I decided to deliver at HWKKS because I am more confident in government hospital lol. Also because I know most of the staff there. So yeah. 

I arrived almost noon. Registered and everything. Assessed by the MO and apparently I was already 3 cm dilated and my cervix was favourable so I just need to be sent to the labour room for ARM (artificial rupture of membrane) and augmentation. Nope, I don’t have any contraction - or even tightening - at that time. But having my os assessed - and I think they even did S&S (where they help to stretch your os even more) on me lol - lowkey hurt. I think I almost cried the first time I was assessed. Then the HO attempted to insert branula on me (twice!) and failed so my Anaes MO friend who was visiting me helped them lol because damn painful weh I couldn’t stand it already. Honestly I don’t know why they couldn’t get the line since my vein is damn prominent. 

 Slept peacefully on the 23rd. Nothing much changes on the 24th. Couldn’t be induced since my cervix is favourable. Couldn’t go to the labour room since it is forever busy. I still haven’t had any contraction. Or even tightening. So I spent the time walking around, watching this stupidly funny Thai drama, sleeping, and Instagramming lol. Brought a novel with me too but too lazy to read. Mom and bae came and visit me. And also couple of friends who are working in the hospital. 

Early morning of the 25th, I think I had contraction pain. Told the nurse - actually sister - who took my vitals, then she timed my contraction, and apparently my contraction was 2 in 10 minutes. I think that was the only time I had contraction lol since after that I was pain free. But at least my os was progressing from 3cm to 4cm so I was in active phase of labour. Which means I will be assessed every 4 hourly instead of 6 hourly. And they should send me to labour room anytime soon. 

Around afternoon, I woke up from my nap and I was shivering. Barely could move. Was so cold and shivered so hard that I think I cried a bit lol. Patient next to me was like, but it’s not cold, and called the nurse. Checked my temperature, and I had low grade fever. Given paracetamol and finally I was back to my normal self. And I was like oh wow OK now I know how chills and rigor feels like lol all this while I only write it in case notes. And also they did the whole septic workup on me - which turned out to be negative thank God cuz I lowkey scared I have all the ESBL, MRO, CRE organisms on me haha - despite me thinking I was feverish because of thrombophlebitis. But I was there as a patient, not as a doctor so yeah totally up to them what they wanna do. 

Around evening, they did CTG on me, and it turned out to be fetal tachycardia. Could be because of the fever - but since my fever already resolved, I think it was unlikely. Anyway I was afraid that it would become fetal distress and I had to be pushed for C-sec but luckily the tachycardia resolved after 2 or 3 pints of hydration. After discussing with the specialist oncall, the MO oncall then proceeded to ARM me (I was 5 cm by this time) - clear liquor, thank God. I think minutes after the ARM then the contraction pain finally came. 

Oh God. Imagine your period pain, but multiply it thousands time. (Also I was like oh so *this* is what contraction feels like lol). I don’t think my period pain is that painful - I know there are others who suffered even worse period pain - but even then I occasionally imagine ripping my uterus out so that the pain will stop lol. So imagine how bad I want to rip my uterus out during my contraction lol. Also since my membrane was ruptured, my liquor kept leaking everytime the contraction came - which is about 4 contractions in 10 minutes. And since I was already 5cm and it was so painful for me I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t even go to the toilet to pee lol and I was like eff it I’m gonna pee right here right now and so I didn’t know if the fluid that came out of me was purely liquor or if I indeed peed as well haha. Disclaimer: you can call the nurse so they could help you to go to the toilet or give you that potty thingy, but I didn’t even care because contraction pain lol also because scared somehow I would progress to os fully and ended up deliver in the toilet haha.

I was still in the ward at this time. Yes, imagine I haven’t been pushed to the labour room yet despite having my membrane ruptured and having regular contraction. I was hoping that I would get epidural but  nope. Of course nothing happened as I hoped. Instead, they gave me the only painkiller I could get in the ward, which is IM Nubain. And oh boy, even the injection was painful. Worse is that I don’t think the drug is that helpful anyway???? The contraction is still painful?!?!? And only afterwards I understand what my patients went through during my O&G posting ðŸ˜… I wonder how about those who only took Entonox. 

Managed to told mom and bae I would most likely be called to the labour room soon (haha what a joke) and still manage to call and text bae but then I gave in to the pain and told bae I couldn’t talk anymore and tried to sleep (but nope I don’t think I managed to sleep). Luckily bae - who was oncall at that time - managed to accompany me around midnight up until I delivered. Thank God his ward got housemen at tha time and no active issues. And also I think because he’s a staff so the ward staff gave a bit of leeway and let him be at my side. 

Anyways. I was groaning (lowkey almost shouted lol) in pain - and I was quite noisy lol because I heard the staff were asking who is that and another answered it was me lol - and kept on asking to be assessed because I felt like I was bearing down, and bae almost assessed me lol and I was like no, I want other person to assess me so the nurse assessed me but nope it was still 5 cm and I was like can I please get another jab of Nubain and the nurse was like sorry but it was only 3 hours from the last jab so cannot and oh my god it hurts so much when will I be called to the labour room (by this time I probably had cursed the MO oncall of labour room many times lol). In the end the MO came and assessed me and thank God I was already 7 cm and since I was also bearing down they decided to push me anyway to the labour room - God knows when will I go to the labour room if we waited to be called instead.

So changed bed - I could barely moved lol. Pushed to the labour room - and I groaned in pain throughout. Assessed in labour room again and guess what, I was already 9 cm. i remembered looking at bae and was like oh no won’t be able to ask for epidural now sobs. Then os fully and after 20 minutes of pushing, I finally delivered my beautiful baby H at 1.41 am on 26th of December 2019, with birth weight of 3.31 kg (her estimated weight during scan was 2.9kg lol). Of course, I had episiotomy - it really wasn’t that painful since the contraction was much worse - but then the moment baby H went through me, I felt this particular pain - which turned out to be labial tear. So, so painful. Like, very painful. 

And oh, have you ever heard one says you won’t feel anything once the baby is out and all you could focus on is your beautiful baby? Nope. Bullshit. Delivering your placenta is OK. But having whatever tear you have down there repaired? That is another kind of pain. I legit screamed during the first stitch, and I was shaking while holding on to bae’s hand trying to bear the pain. Also luckily I didn’t crush while holding baby H - who was lying on my chest for skin to skin during that time.

Is anyone still reading this? Lol been sometime since the last time I posted quite a lengthy post. I think I’mma end it here and continue on next post - the different kinds of pain you will feel post delivery. Lol. 

Till next time. Ciao.