Quickie #15

Typing this with bae's tab because why not, amirite? He's not using it anyway so it is mine until indefinite time hehehehe.

Bullet points of things in my life right now because am too lazy to write in proper paragraph and all.

• The results for our previous posting has been released and thankfully I passed. 
• We just finished our mock exam. Entertaining but nerve-wrecking.
• Tomorrow is PUPUK presentation report. Hopefully we'll do well.
• It is day 3 of fasting.
• We had a talk on 'Approach of Long and Short Case' this morning. Personally, I think year 3 and year 4 should be exposed to these kind of talk and the mock exam, so they'll know how they supposed to 'act' and practise in the BST and in end posting exam. I mean, why would you wanna wait until 2 months before the big exam to expose yourself to these kinda things, amirite?
• Bae was curious what I'm doing right now because I refuse to show him what I'm typing right now so I had to tell him about my blog. Luckily he's not the type who reads so he's just scrolling through it.
• Oh, we are currently in the student/study room because we wanted to leech the wifi and download movies 😈
• 2 pairs of couple in our batch recently got married. Super jealous of them but who am I kidding? I am no way near ready to be married.
• Downloaded a finance manager app to help me keep track of my spending.

Gonna stop writing here. Till then!

Quickie #14: Relationship

I've noticed that I have certain issues when I'm in a relationship. Like, how most of the time I could not believe that someone would actually think I'm worthy enough for his love. I would keep asking him to list down the reasons why he loves me. Or how I would need reassurance that he indeed loves me and won't leave me.

I blame this unhealthy relationship pattern on the non existing dad role in my life when I was a kid. I mean, how else would you explain the never ending list of crushes I have, and how I fall easily for a guy who cares for me in a slightest bit?

But this ends now. Whatever that keep causing my relationship fails has gotta go. I found an incredie man, and I know it's still early to say this, but I really, truly likes him. I want to give this a try. With all my heart. I'm lucky to have met such good guys all this while, and he's the greatest. So here's to a new beginning.

Cheers.

Quickie #13: Elective Posting

Currently researching about volunteering program for my elective posting. Not sure yet whether it will be appropriate and meet the criteria for the elective posting, but I'm trying to find one that will fit the best for the elective.

Why volunteer? Because 1) I've always wanted to do voluntary work (but haven't tried it) and 2) it's a volunteer abroad program! Who wouldn't want that?? And 3) I haven't check it yet but I assume it will be cheaper compared to applying to do attachment in hospital abroad.

However I realized that my clinical skill at most is subpar, so I feel very inferior and afraid that I will tarnish the good name of UMS and Malaysia, especially if they know that I've finished my 4th year (by the time we need to do our elective).

So here's to hoping that I will somehow become a hardworking medical student and actually try to improve myself so I won't feel so self-conscious with my clinical skill.

Peace out.

Quickie #12: Lullabies - Lang Leav

THIS TOTALLY TALKS ABOUT GUY AND I!!! (But sometimes I don't know what we are. Or what we are not. Sigh)

P/s: Click on the picture to go to the original link.

Quickie #11: The Good News

Realized that my posts here lately were a bit on the bleak side. So here's one good news for y'all:

I PASS MY FREAKING PROFESSIONAL EXAM ONE!!!!!111

Truth to be told, I don't really think I'm qualified enough to enter the fourth year. God knows how bad I performed during my short case examination. In fact, it's a miracle that I passed. I believe that the school board might help me a bit. I guess. I don't know.

But then, maybe this is one of God's way of saying that I still can do this. That I must not lose hope. That I must believe, this is what I'm destined to do.

I mean, surely, if God eases your way to it, it is meant for you all along, doesn't it?

Quickie #10

Hi non-existent readers of my almost dying blog. I am still breathing, if any of you are wondering.

Anyway, I just finished my end of medical junior posting exam. How was it? I'd rather not say. But at the same time I am a little bit worried. I mean, previously, in my surgical junior posting, I was so worried about my result but in the end I passed. But for this posting...I don't really give a damn, which at the same time, got me worried. Well, you get what I'm saying.

Honestly, this posting isn't that bad. I love learning. And there's so much to learn in this posting as the topics and systems involved are vast. But with the limited time and the exams...to say that it's stressful is and understatement.

By the way. Gotta end this. All the examiners are here giving feedback on how we did in the exam...so, talk to you later.

Quickie #9

Greetings, fellow readers.

Currently typing this post - happily - on my new laptop. Yes, my dear beloved. You read that right. Yours truly has just bought a new laptop, which means, I could type my heart away without having to use virtual/on-screen keyboard (oh, the agony!).

Anyway. Spent my holiday so far by crashing at Lily's place. I was supposed to study but somehow the plan fail to be executed. I still have 3 days though so let's just hope it's enough.

Just had a shocking news which is, in a way, also a bad news. I think I'll be facing the same doctor who supervised us during our attachment later in my medical posting :O Well, he's not that bad. It's just me. I think I gave myself a bad impression to him. Sigh. Luckily it's not our group OMG STRIKE THAT I JUST REMEMBERED I'M ACTUALLY IN GROUP B WHICH MEANS I WILL BE HAVING CLASS WITH HIM OMG OMG. Whyyyyyyyy out of the many doctors in QEH I'm stuck with him? I've been trying to forget him ever since I'm finished with my attachment.

Sigh.

Anyway.

That's all for now. Toodles.

Quickie #8

Been a while since my last post eh? Truthfully, I don't really know what to write. And I lost the passion to write too. Well, not just about writing. Pretty much about everything. The fact that I don't have much passion in everything - or anything - is making things worse. Not to mention about my laziness. It's like, I'm always in distress and laziness is my comfort. Or you know how people would curl into fetal position as a defense mechanism? I would just switch on my lazy mood.

OK I don't think I'm making any sense.

Anyway.

Less than 2 months before I'm going back to Malaysia. Can't wait for it? You bet! Not really a fan of Raya (Aidilfitri/Aidiladha) but I'm excited that we'll be celebrating Aidilfitri together :D Big bro has graduated and will go back home. I miss that guy (plus I cannot wait to get my stethoscope from him haha).

Meanwhile, li'l bro will do his foundation in INTECH and if everything goes well, he might further his study overseas. I'm a little bit worried with those facts (studying in INTECH and the possibility of going to overseas). Haha. Can he survive? I know he studied in a boarding school, but the school was only (roughly) 30 minutes away from home. And looking at how he is at home...err, no comment.

I really want him to do well. But at the same time I want to protect him. I want to preserve the image of the innocence and naivety of my baby brother. Is this how mothers feel towards their kids? Hah.

This will do for now. Will write again. Hopefully soon :)

Quickie #7

A quickie because I feel as if I'm neglecting this blog. Sorry for not showing you enough love, blog *pats on imaginary head of what a humanized blog would look like*.

Anyway.

Life is just the same. Nothing out of norm or anything remotely extraordinary happened. I wish I could say that I've been sticking to what I've promised myself before, which is to study from the start, but I guess promises are meant to be broken. Oh wait. I think that was supposed to be rules. Rules are meant to be broken lol.

Well, there's this one thing happened. Today, in fact. And it was a big deal. Our last sem's results are finally out! Thank God I got straight B's. And an A, if you count the Skill Lab lol. One (and I guess those who knew me from high school) might say "you're happy getting all B's?" but you know what, eff you. I'm perfectly fine with whatever my result is. Just as long as I don't have to repeat the exam.

What else eh?

Ili and I have been very...enthusiastic (/diligent?) in making desserts (mostly just Ili though). Cheesecake, mainly. I wonder where, why and how. But most importantly, I wish I'm as enthusiastic in study as I do in baking. Heh.

Moving on.

Exam is about 7 days more so I better go study now. Plus, I've promised him that I will study. So see ya in next post :)

Quickie #6

Wanted to post this before the holiday but end up doing it at 2nd week of new sem lol.

Few weeks ago, Sasha Saidin, a member of a girls group bla bla became a curator for @twt_malaysia. So it's kinda...I dunno, supposedly cool or awesome (?) to have an artist (or former artist?) to wish you luck for your exam haha.

And after finally done with the exams, I did this. Haha. Finally get a taste of what it feels like to be tweetlimit-ed.God it was hard to get tweetlimit-ed.

Quickie #5

Almost a whole day without tweeting yeay!

Changed my Twitter bio and avatar but I bet none of you (or anyone for that matter) noticed it. Heh.

A quick post to distract myself because I was tempted to tweet just now. I even contemplated to make a new account! LOL

Approximately 9 days to go before I could start tweeting again. And life will be back to normal again. Can't wait!

Quickie #4

I'm tempted to reply to Ili's tweet but I couldn't.

Like I've tweeted last night, I decided to not tweeting until 7th of Feb. Pretty hard, since I've been spending almost of my waking time there. Tried to redirect my impulse to write on diary. Or blog. Hehe.

To do so, not tweeting I mean, I even considered to deactivate my account! Couldn't bring myself to actually do it so I just deleted all Twitter apps I had (I only had two lol). Was supposed to log out from mobile.twitter.com too but somehow I didn't (I swear I thought I've clicked on the sign out button) so I didn't :P

At first, I don't even want to check on Twitter, but...to prevent from withdrawal system (lol), I guess I will cut loose on this one. So hey, don't you go around thinking that I might miss whatever shit you're tweeting about me #ParanoidAlert. I still read the tweets, just not as frequent as before.

Anyway.

Off to feed my poor tummy. See ya!

Twitter Addict?

I think I spend way too much time on Twitter. OK scratch that. I know I spend way too much time on Twitter. Going through my tweets' archive, the tweets I've posted spiked for the last few months. And to remember the time when I promised myself not to tweet every single thing that is happening to me...Gosh.

Too much time on Twitter decreases my attention span. Basically, it's just toxic. So I'm going back to basic. Write a diary. I need to remind myself that I do not need to publicise every single petty things about my life.

I need new hobbies too. Just to distract myself whenever I feel the urge to tweet again. I dunno. Practise drawing? Learn photoshop/coding for my blog template (meh not this one cuz am too lazy to switch on the laptop lol)? Baking (meh not this one either since it involves buying ingredients and I'm kinda broke lol)? Write more and longer poems (or anything creative, really) for my Not A Poet blog?

Wow listing those things (and I'm sure there are other things I could be doing) makes me realize life is a lot more than just Twitter. Heh.

Ah well. Should go back to the books now.

Quickie #2

Hey peeps.

Just wanted to let you know that I've made another blog, Not A Poet. It's basically to compile my #puisitwitter and whenever I'm in the mood for some creative writing (which is probably never lol).

Anyway, just finished our lab skills exam (I think the alternative name is OSCE). Not that bad, considering I don't really study for it. Forgot one or two points, but whatever.

Off to do something productive. Ciao.

Quickie #1

This is just a phase. It is not permanent. It will soon die out.

Those three phrases are my mantra for these couple of days. What keeps me sane. What holds me from being a total psychotic.

Meanwhile, the fact that I have a paper tomorrow fails to keep me sober.


P/s: Expect a lot of quickies (aka mini/micro post) in the future, since I'm spending most of my writing time on Twitter.