Early Morning Musing

The one essential thing you must have in your pantry is cereal methinks. An instant tummy filler when you are super hungry early in the morning (or whenever, really) but just too lazy to make yourself a proper meal. All you have to do is pour milk in a bowl followed by cereal, and voila! And it makes a good snack/munch too.

Again, I woke up around 3.30 in the morning. This time because of micturition reflex kicked in and because I still had my earphones plugged in. The haze of sleepiness quickly cleared up when waking up to my rage song (not really a good song to wake up to though haha). Wanted to go back to sleep but I know I'll most likely not wake up for Fajr later if I do, so in the end I read some blogs.

This is just a random musing so please, feel free to stop reading now.

I've been thinking about him lately. Maybe because of my current status? I don't know. And it will be a total lie if I say I do not miss him at all. Honestly, I'm a bit sad because...we used to share everything. I know things hadn't been the same since I-don't-know-when, and gradually, that's what lead us to here, but still...I miss you. Sometimes, I wonder if I could message you. I wonder if it would be OK, or it would only inflict pain.

This is confusing. I'm not still attached to you, am I? After all, I was the reason this happened in the first place. Plus, I thought that one year being on my own would do me good. So why do I found myself thinking about you, missing you, albeit rarely? Is it normal? Please say it is, and that I'm not looking for another chance.

Perhaps, this happens, more frequent than before, is because he reminds me of you. You both have lots in common that sometimes, it scares me. That sometimes, I want to run away from him. There's no point, methinks, to be with someone who resembles a person from your past. Because the character is still the same, with the same storyline. Just a different actor.

Sigh. It's been only weeks, but I'm giving up already. I thought I could change my view on love but I guess not. I still don't see the point of it. The point of being in love. And how can I be sure that this is love anyway? Not just another phase?