Escapism

Remember that time when I was so pissed with my friend, let's just call him A, for telling our friend that I look fat? I was so mad and promised to myself that I'mma start exercising and take care of my diet and will start losing weight. OK so maybe I tweeted it instead of blogged it.

Anyway, neither of those happening at the moment. The only reason why I didn't eat is because I'm too lazy to cook (and we all know that not eating is not the way to lose weight - healthily) and watching FRIENDS is a lot more fun than jumping to an exercise video (hey that gives me an idea. Maybe I should buy a jumping rope).

So I just finished following this favourite exercise video of mine (well, the first 5 minutes of it anyway) and damn I'm tired already. To be fair, I had done two or three videos before that (halfway, all of em).

Oh me with my halfways. I wanted to learn how to sew but I only did it halfway. I have two diaries which aren't finished yet (used the first one as my notebook during revision for Pro Exam and the second one...well it's not much of a diary anyway). Wanted to learn to play guitar and even thinking of buying one but ditched the idea. Turned to ukulele instead, and even promised myself to buy one if I pass the Pro Exam, but decided that I'm tone deaf and my fine motor skills are too uncoordinated for playing any musical instruments (except maybe for that triangle thingy). Wanted to create some kind of digital art - and my friend even gave me a drawing tablet as a gift - but so far all I've done is doodle. Wanted to draw again but so far the drawing book is collecting dust.

And it's when I'm swamped with books or the exam is just few days away and I will start wanting to do everything again. And I know I can't because I have another priorities so I promised myself that once I have time for myself I'mma do them but hey, guess who is on holiday right now but did nothing than watching movies? ME.

The cycle will never end. I hope at least I get something done. Like drawing. I like drawing. Oh, and exercising. Not because I love to but because I want to prove to frigging A that I am not fat!

And what is this with people telling me that I look slimmer every time they meet me? Is there a note somewhere on me telling people to say what I want to hear? I know I'm not slimmer than yesterday, or the year before, because I weigh myself every now and then and there's not much of a difference.

I know God created every one of us differently - including body size - and all of us are beautiful in our own way. But being shoved down your throat about skinny equal to beautiful everyday doesn't help. I mean, it's not bad enough that I have (moderate to severe and nodular) acne, I gotta wear L-sized clothes too.

Sigh.

Before I sound more shallow and superficial talking about weight and look, I'mma end this post. So, later.

P/s: To anonymous, FRIENDS is awesome! Please do watch them. What series are you watching by the way? And do you have any song suggestion? I kinda need to update my playlist.